@ Chevy
I think that's a really good idea, unfortunately I hadn't the heart to write an english fanfic yet. Maybe in the future... who knows...?

And I think your starting is quite promising, but I'd like to suggest to get completely rid off these " ' "-endings. I guess it's not a proper way to write a serious story, isn't it?

And I believe you still "think too german"...concerning the word order.
Everybody just called him Shoggy, because of the huge glasses he had to wear, which made him look like a turtle.
The english language isn't that complicated. Do you know what I mean?
Maybe better this way? --> By wearing his huge glasses he looked like a turtle, that's why everybody just named him Shoogy. (only a suggestion!!! )

Did you read fics in english? I guess this would help a lot...

But anyway, continue your nice work!!!